GUIDANCE FOR MEN NAVIGATING INFIDELITY AND REBUILDING TRUST.

A Compassionate Path to Healing

At Shame to Resilience, we understand the overwhelming weight of betrayal, shame, and the fear of losing what matters most. For men ready to break free from cycles of secrecy and guilt, we provide the tools, guidance, and community to take radical responsibility, rebuild trust, and reclaim integrity.

What Makes Us Different

Recognizing & Healing Shame

Learn to see your shame through a behavioral lens. Often, deep-seated shame goes unrecognized due to preemptive defensive behaviors. Learn how to sit with your discomfort and respond to your partner's pain with empathy, rather than defensiveness, escape, or avoidance.

Rebuilding Trust

Trust isn’t reclaimed with quick fixes. It requires consistent, honest action over time. When your shame takes over, you don’t show up, and you don’t repair. Trust is built when you learn the emotional skills to show up.

Leading with Integrity

Start showing up as the man your partner and you can respect. You must respect yourself and believe in your integrity before you can show up with genuine empathy and compassion for the harm caused by your own choices.

A self-directed approach.

Shame to Resilience is a psychoeducational coaching program; it’s not therapy. STR provides you with the necessary information to make the changes you want. It’s about working in the present without ignoring the lessons of the past. Real information and real direction.

Meet Your Mentors

  • Duane Osterlind, LMFT, CSAT-S

    Duane is a licensed therapist and certified sex addiction specialist with over 15 years of experience helping men recover after infidelity or betrayal. He’s also the host of the Addicted Mind Podcast, guiding millions of listeners to deeper understanding and change.

    Duane’s Mission:

    To empower men to confront the shame holding them back and move forward with integrity, strength, and hope.

  • Eric Osterlind, PMHNP

    Eric is a Board-Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner who brings empathy, clinical expertise, and a calming presence to his work. His approach focuses on helping men stay emotionally engaged and grounded in challenging conversations.

    Eric’s Mission:

    To help clients shift from emotional avoidance to connection, creating meaningful progress in rebuilding their lives and relationships.

Success Stories

  • I attend SPAA meetings and I share that I'm taking a shame to resilience course from Duane & Eric Osterlind. I also tell them about the addicted mind program. I cant thank you and Duane enough for making this course available to me, and to the other people that are in need of this information on how to deal with the shame that we all feel regarding our behavior. ok, onto the questions on the workshop.... i reached out to Duane after i heard him speak on the betrayal trauma conference, but 2 maybe 3 weeks later i received an email, with the option to take this workshop. 2 or 3 months ago i was drowning in a ocean of my shame, because i betrayed my partner. i was in a very dark place. empathy cant live if shame is present shame, is only thinking of how I feel, not thinking about how my partner feels. those two sentences really resonated with me. I still experience shame, however, no where near the level i was at before. now I have shifting more towards guilt. before it was all shame. I have shared that I'm taking this workshop on most of my SPAA meetings. I have shared my experience with my sponsor and my therapist. I still have quite a distance to go, but I now have the tools to move forward, and leave the shame I've felt about myself for 40+ years behind me. thanks to Duane and Eric. I will always be eternally grateful, you guys made it possible for me to take this course.

    Shame To Resilience Workshop Attendee

  • Thanks so much for putting together this workshop and for hosting the group. When I saw Duane's presentation on the Shame Compass at the Betrayal Healing Conference earlier this year, I knew that shame was the key barrier to taking the next step in recovery and in healing the injury to my marriage. The Shame to Resilience course has been a huge step forward for me in my own journey and in my relationship. The foundation that Duane and Eric set with grounding and awareness was critical for the perspective work that came later. Being able to realize and really see my wife's perspective, and recognizing that I can do that perspective work even when I still have my own recovery work to do, was eye-opening. I shared my insights with my wife, and we had one of the most constructive conversations we have had since disclosure two and half years ago. I still have shame and triggers, and my wife and I still have hard conversations, but this work is real progress in my recovery. Sharing those struggles and that growth with the group of men who are walking through this course with me has been connecting and refreshing, even when it has been difficult. This course has meant a lot to me, and to my wife. I truly appreciate everything that you have given the group these last several few months.

    BPC - Workshop Ateendee

  • I joined the Shame to Resilience Workshop because I was having a really difficult time communicating with my wife in our betrayal trauma recovery. I kept showing up defensive, dismissive, and just wasn't able to even physically sit in difficult conversations without my body reacting to the immense feelings of shame, guilt, and discomfort. I came to the workshop at a point where our relationship was very broken, and something needed to change. This workshop has helped me identify where shame exists for me - how my body experiences it, how I show up "as it", and most importantly, has given me tools to combat my shame spirals. I had no idea I was shame spiraling as often as I was. I thought I was just expressing myself authentically, but my wife's experience was always different from my own reality. I can now sit my discomfort and just listen to my wife without reacting (I still need tons of practice). And, overall. I just feel better equipped to face my relational recovery with the tools and information this workshop has given me. If you are a guy that struggles with anything I just mentioned, please don't hesitate and sign up for this workshop. You will get something out of it, and in the process will help yourself and help your relationship along the path to recovery.

    PR - Workshop Attendee

  • Over the course of this course, I have become more aware of how my shame is still affecting me. There have been many instances where I have been able to use the tools I have been given to navigate my way out of shameful reaction and into healthy response. It is still a work in progress, but the community of people who are working through this with me are a great resource to help me keep on track and not give up. Thank you so much.

    D - Workshop Attendee

Take the First Step

You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle of shame or watch your relationships deteriorate further. Choose courage. Choose clarity. Choose resilience.

Your Next Move:

Jump on our list so we can notify you of our next workshop cohort.